A Collection of Terrible Poems

Image generated by the @noisemakerbot on twitter

I would like to preface this by saying that you should not be taking any of these poems seriously at all but I doubt you will. Though most of them were written while I was in a bad state, I’m just very good at covering up genuine expressions of emotion with gibberish.

These poems are all old from my documents, written around two years ago.

Poo Man 2

Every night I shit myself

I climb into bed and shit myself

It warms me up

Like when you walk in the cold water and you pee yourself

I am the poo man

Poo poo poo poo poo

Poo

I am the poo man

Authors note: to my knowledge, there is no poem called Poo Man 1 or anything of that sort. Why it was called Poo Man 2, I don’t know.

Volatile

Wee woo wee wooo

WEEE WOOO WEEE WOOO

WEEE WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WEEE

WEEE WOOO

Weee woo

Authors note: but the third line was in a smaller font than the rest of the actual poem. I have no idea why this poem exists.

Rhino

I teach a hippo how to talk

Authors note: this poem does contain more but I just want to highlight that in earnest, I confused a rhino with a hippo.

Chicken

I eat my chicken

I cry at dinner

I don’t taste anything

Eating chicken under my desk lamp

It’s getting cold

I ugly cry

BRUH

Jack off

Go fast

4am

Beach

Freedom

I want to hurtle down the hill at mach 3 speed and feel the life entering my body

Fast cars maybe

Authors note: while this poem might seem very sexual with the first line, there is a poem in my files entirely about sucking dick.

Internet archeologist and pee pee pooer. He/they er/ihm.